The Great Time Lord Argument
by heysavy
Summary: Me and a friend went a little crazy and wrote this. It's a Doctor/Master conversation and it's completely ridiculous. We just had fun with it. Basically, Master and Doctor love each other but Doctor is cheating with Captain Jack Harkness.


wibblywobblytimeywimey said: MASTER GIVE ME BACK MY TARDIS.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: NO WAY IT'S MINE!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: LOOK. MASTER GIVE ME BACK THE TARDIS. IDGAF IF YOU JUST REGENERATED AND OPENED THE WATCH, I NEED MY TARDIS TO ESCAPE THESE THINGS WITH THE TEETH. LOVE, DOCTOR.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: LISTEN, DOCTOR, I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT THE TARDIS FOR YEARS. I AM MASTER, THEREFORE I AM KEEPING IT! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT ME FOR IT, AND I DON'T PLAY NICE!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: MASTER IDGAF HOW LONG YOUVE BEEN WITHOUT THE TARDIS, THIS ONES MINE, GET YOUR OWN. THE LIVES OF MARTHA AND JACK - WELL OKAY NOT JACK AS HES IMMORTAL APPARENTLY ARE IN DANGER AS WELL. I WILL FIGHT YOU FOR IT AND REMEMBER, YOU DONT HAVE A SONIC!

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: #masters always stealin my swag

SWAGGER SO BRIGHT I DON'T EVEN NEED LIGHT!

Look, Doctor, we both know how this ends. Are you really going to deny me the last couple days of my life the pleasure of once again being in the TARDIS? Would you really do that to Master? I always thought you had more character than that. More empathy. That's why you have these companions, isn't it? Why Captain Jack always comes back to find you? And what do I have? A pathetic excuse of a wife I don't even love. And a shit-ton of Daleks and an entire race of humans that I trapped into these contraptions when they thought the skies would be made of diamonds. They wanted a better life and I made theirs hell instead.

So no, no I probably don't deserve another ride in the TARDIS, but god dammit you can't keep me from trying!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: ID LET YOU RIDE THE DAMN TARDIS IF YOU WANTED TO, YOU DIDNT HAVE TO STEAL IT. WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY STUFF AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW. ANYWAY, YOURE THE ONE THAT FRIGGIN STEALS AND REGENERATES IN MY TARDIS. AND I'M THE BAD GUY?

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: WELL SHIT, I GUESS YOU AREN'T THAT COMPASSIONATE! I JUST FED YOU THAT WHOLE SOB STORY AND YOU SHRUG IT OFF LIKE MY DEATH MEANS NOTHING! FINE, TAKE IT YOU BASTARD! TAKE IT AND RUN OFF WITH JACK AND HAVE THE LOVE THAT I NEVER DID! BUT MARK MY WORDS, MASTER WILL BE BACK AND WHEN I AM YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS DAY!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: DAMMIT MASTER YOU CANT JUST STEAL OTHER PEOPLES THINGS AND EXPECT THEM TO MOURN YOU. AND YOURE NOT EVEN DEAD YET. GOSH. STOP BEING SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. (AND WE WILL THANK YOU VERY MUCH)

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: BUT I CAN! AND I HAVE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS! I AM MASTER, OF COURSE PEOPLE WILL MOURN ME! EVEN YOU WILL MOURN ME! YOU'LL SEE! I WAS THE GREATEST TIME LORD THERE WAS ONCE. WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT IT? YOU'VE BEEN OFF IN THE TARDIS, WHILE I'VE BEEN NEGLECTED, FORGOTTEN! AND FOR WHAT, JACK? ROSE! WHOEVER THIS NEW BITCH IS? YOU KNOW SHE'LL LEAVE YOU! SHE'LL NEVER SEE YOU LIKE I SEE YOU! SHE'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOUR PLACE IN LIFE AS A TIME LORD!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: THEYLL ALL LEAVE ME EXCEPT FOR JACK BECAUSE HES IMMORTAL BECAUSE IM A TIMELORD. AND YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW ANY OF THAT FEELS? TRY CONSTANTLY HAVING PEOPLE LEAVE YOU BECAUSE YOU NEVER EVER DIE! I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY WHAT THIS IS. AND THAT NEW BITCH DOESNT STAND A CHANCE BECAUSE OF JACK. YOURE JUST WHINY BECAUSE YOUVE BEEN LOCKED IN A POCKET WATCH FOR HOWEVER LONG THAT WAS. SO STICK THAT IN YOUR JUICEBOX AND SUCK IT.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: YOU TRY BEING LOCKED IN A POCKET WATCH! YOU THINK ITS HARD TO HOP ALL OVER THE PLACE, SAVING THE UNIVERSE…YOU'VE NEVER BEEN STUCK IN SOMEONE'S POCKET FOR CENTURIES! ALL THOSE YEARS I MISSED, ALL THE GLORY I NEVER GOT. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M STEALING THE TARDIS? IT'S BECAUSE YOU GOT ALL THE GLORY, ALL THE RECOGNITION THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE! WE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT TOGETHER, DOCTOR! BUT YOU WERE SO CONVINCED THAT YOU WERE THE LAST OF OUR KIND, YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SEARCH ALL THOSE PLACES YOU TRAVELED.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: BECAUSE YOU WERE IN A POCKET WATCH. AM I SUPPOSED TO CHECK EVERY SINGLE POCKET WATCH IN THE WORLD? BESIDES, HOW WOULD I KNOW YOU WERE AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE MAKING ROCKET SHIPS OUT OF FOOD? YOU WERE HUMAN! SERIOUSLY MASTER, FOR A TIMELORD YOU'RE KIND OF STUPID. AND I WAS LOCKED IN A POCKET WATCH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT I DIDN'T GO ABOUT STEALING OTHER PEOPLES THINGS.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: OH C'MON. THAT'S NOT EVEN FAIR. I'M NOT STUPID. I'M ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY CLEVER, YOU JUST WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE OF HOW LONG WE'VE BEEN APART! BUT NO, NO I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE JACK NOW SO YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT SHIT. MAYBE YOU JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO STEAL SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANTED BACK! THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOUR WEAKNESS...NO BACKBONE. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PUSHOVER, ALWAYS "TOO GOOD" TO END A RACE BECAUSE IT'S "WRONG". WELL IT'S NOT ALWAYS WRONG! THERE'S A LINE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL AND YOU'RE TOO NAIVE TO SEE THAT. EVERYONE'S GOT TO BE GOOD.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: OH REALLY? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE DALEKS DESTROYED THE REST OF OUR PEOPLE? DEFINITELY NOT IN GALLIFREY! YOU BECAME A HUMAN SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO FACE THEM. PUT YOURSELF IN THAT LITTLE WATCH SO THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HEAR THEM. I ENDED THE DALEKS THREE TIMES, THEY COME BACK. ENDED THE CYBERMEN, THEY COME BACK. I THINK I KNOW WHEN THINGS AREN'T "GOOD," I WOULD JUST RATHER GIVE THEM A CHANCE! UNLIKE YOU!

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: THAT WAS ONE MOMENT OF WEAKNESS! I ALWAYS REGRETTED THAT! I NEVER EXPECTED TO BE TRAPPED IN THAT GOD DAMN WATCH FOR SO LONG. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT SOMEONE WOULD COME ALONG AND LET ME OUT! AND YOU NEVER CAME. YOU CHOSE JACK OVER ME. AND YOU WENT ON TO "SAVE THE UNIVERSE", FORGETTING THAT I WAS STILL, WAS ALWAYS, YOUR MASTER! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU COULD JUST FORGET ABOUT ME. I WOULD HAVE COME BACK FOR YOU, EVEN IF YOU HAD A MOMENT OF FEAR AND WEAKNESS!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT KNOWING YOU WERE AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE, WHICH BY THE WAY, WITHOUT JACK I NEVER WOULD HAVE FOUND YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM! I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE RELATIONSHIP! HOW WHEN HE APPEARED AGAIN AND BROUGHT YOU YOUR HAND YOU HAD A MOMENT WITH HIM ON THAT OTHER SHIP, NEARLY GLOWING AT THE FACT THAT HE CHANGED TORCHWOOD FOR YOU. OR SO HE SAYS! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE, AND YET YOU WERE SWOONING OVER HIM AND BATTING YOUR EYES AT HIM AND NOT LOOKING AWAY WHEN HE TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF. OF COURSE I TIED HIM UP, AWAY FROM YOU, AND AGED YOU! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MINE AND IF YOU AREN'T MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE, NOT EVEN YOUR PRECIOUS TARDIS!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: I DIDNT MEAAAAAAAAN TOO. WHAT WITH YOU IN THE POCKET WATCH AND ME BEING THE ONLY *AVALIABLE* TIME LORD LEFT. AND WITH HIM FOLLOWING ME AROUND EVERYWHERE, IT JUST KIND OF HAPPENED. AND NOOOOO NOT MY TARDIS! NOT SEXY! I WILL FIND YOU.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: YES, YES YOUR TARDIS! I FEEL BETRAYED! YOU HAD MY HEART AND YOU STOMPED ALL OVER IT. AND WITH ROSE GONE AND JACK DISAPPEARING OR RUNNING OFF TO TORCHWOOD OR WHENEVER HE'S GOING NEXT THE TARDIS IS ALL YOU HAVE! YOU NEED TO FEEL THE PAIN I FELT!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: YOU WANT ME TO FEEL THE PAIN? YOU THINK I HAVEN'T DONE THAT ENOUGH? ALL THOSE INCARNATIONS WHERE MY COMPANIONS HAD TO LEAVE OR BE LEFT. ALL THOSE PEOPLE I COULD HAVE SAVED BUT WAS TOO LATE. ROSE LEAVING. JACK DYING. MARTHA WILL EVENTUALLY LEAVE ME TOO. THEY ALL LEAVE ME, AND THE ONLY CONSTANT IS MY TARDIS, BECAUSE EVEN YOU WERE GONE. All the timelords...gone.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: YOUR COMPANIONS. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR COMPANIONS. I NEVER GOT TO HAVE ANY, STUCK IN THAT WATCH! I MISSED SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES, NOT ONLY WITH YOU BUT TO SAVE ALL THOSE INNOCENT LIVES! YOU THINK THEY DON'T MATTER TO ME BECAUSE I RAN FROM IT. I RAN BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID! AFRAID I WAS GOING TO DIE BEFORE I HAD THE CHANCE TO FEEL LIKE I REALLY LIVED! AND NOW, HERE I AM, SO CLOSE TO DEATH ANYWAY AND THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WISH I COULD HAVE DONE! SO MANY PLACES I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN! I'D HAVE RATHER HAD THE COMPANIONS LEAVE ME THAN MISS THE CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING POSITIVE WITH MY LIFE! IT HAS BEEN SUCH A BURDEN ALWAYS BEING THE BAD GUY, ALWAYS BRINGING PAIN TO PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T EVER DESERVE IT, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE THE YEARS IN THE POCKET WATCH HARDENED ME! SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND! YOU GOT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND EMPATHY!

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: EMPATHY? DAMMIT MASTER. YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THE WATCH AND THEN ITS POOR YOU. YOU DIDNT GET TO DO THE THINGS I HAVE DONE. BLAH. IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF YOU WOULD HAVE FOUGHT IN THE LAST GREAT TIME WAR BUT NO, YOU HID. SO I CAN'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. YOU LEFT ME, AND THEN YOU COMPLAIN BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME WITH ME? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: I HAVE EVERY FUCKING RIGHT! BUT YOU'LL NEVER LET ME LIVE THAT DOWN, LEAVING, HIDING. THEY WERE GOING TO KILL US ALL! I THOUGHT IF I HID THEN AT LEAST OUR KIND WOULD STILL EXIST SOMEWHERE! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOU'D SURVIVE, THAT YOU'D CARRY ON WHAT WE DID?

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: NO I WILL NEVER LET YOU LIVE THAT DOWN. THEY CALL ME THE COWARD, THEY CALL ME THE SCARED. BUT THEY DON'T KNOW OF YOU.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: THAT WILL CHANGE SOON. I'LL DIE, YOU'LL GO ON LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. AND I'M SURE WHEN I'M SPOKEN OF IT WILL ALWAYS BE IN THE WORST OF WAYS. NO ONE WILL KNOW THAT BEFORE THE WAR I WAS BRAVE. BEFORE THE WAR I WAS STRONG. ALL THEY'LL KNOW IS THAT I RAN. THAT I WAS WEAK AND UNWILLING TO FIGHT.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: You think you'd be forgotten that easily?

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: Yes. I do think I'd be forgotten that easily. The only person who ever gave a damn about me was you. You were the only one who made me feel brave. And now, now that's gone all because of some stupid watch.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: It's just that. If I'm the only one who gave a damn about you, I'm not very likely to just forget about you. I am a lot of things, Master, but I wouldn't speak of you in a bad light. Not when I know just who you are. Watch or no watch.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: You say that now. But you must have forgotten that I held the people you love hostage. That Martha left to find the one thing that could destroy me, permanently. And she won't be so understanding. She's already spread so many awful things about me to the people she's come in contact with. And who do you think they'd believe, a time lord they never knew existed, or one of their kind?

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: Martha's jealous. She loves me, and whispered it to me when I was in my own watch. She thinks I don't remember...but she has no idea about...well, us. Or Jack. Maybe I should tell her...anyway. I wouldn't let her. I have...my ways. Wipe her memory. Leave her in the wrong century, the wrong universe...

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: But you could never bring yourself to do that, and you know it. You'll just wait for her to leave you like they all do. And we'll never get another chance to be great together.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: How would you know that? I'm capable of a lot of things. And we could never be great together again. Too many things getting in the way nowadays.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: Because, you're too kind for that. You've always been too kind. But you're right. A lot has gotten in the way. The watch, my death...Jack.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: You're right. I couldn't...it wouldn't be right. I've always wished I wouldn't be this kind. Giving chances to monsters and saving the world. If only I could stop saving the world sometimes.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: You can't. You have to go on. You have to continue believing in the good of people, and you'll have to let go of me. You can't try to save me, you can't let me regenerate. I've done too much damage and I refuse to stick around to do much more.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: I have to. I can't let you DIE. Even though you can be the bane of my existence...you...were my first friend. If I don't let you regenerate, I'll be alone again. Forever. The last of the timelords...again. It'll hurt so much more this time, knowing I could have had another by my side, knowing that you still existed and that I took it away. You could fix what you've done...slowly, but you could! You...have to.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: I can't. I won't. And its going to happen sooner than you think. Its getting so close.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: AND YET YOU WONDER WHY I AM ANGRY WITH YOU.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: Maybe you are, and there's nothing I can do about it. But at least you'll get to keep your precious TARDIS. And that's going to have to be enough for you.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: Everyone always leaves me...

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: You have to let me go, Doctor. I'm not going to fight this. I'm not going to regenerate, and you can't do anything about it. You get the TARDIS, you get Jack. You get it all. Just know...know I always loved you.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: You're not leaving me. I will force you to regenerate if I have to. Even though, who said you're going to die? I won't let you leave me too.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: If I regenerate, it's possible I'll do more damage than good. Are you sure you want to risk this? You could go on, you could forget me and you could do so much good for the Universe.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: I could..fix you. I could keep you on my TARDIS, keep you safe until you wouldn't do any more harm. I could never forget you. Forgetting would take so much...

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: What about Jack? He'll be heartbroken if you choose me. He knows the bad I've done, there's no way he'll be okay with it.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: I never said...I wouldn't necessarily be picking you. You're my oldest and dearest friend. But if I did, I'm not quite sure Jack would even care. He's...he's got Torchwood.

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: If you're sure...if you're sure do it now. Do it now or I'm going to die...

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: YOURE NOT GOING TO DIE DAMMIT STOP SAYING THAT

iwasreleasedfromapocketwatch said: Then...here we go. I'm going to regenerate! I'll be weak when it's done, but please don't leave me alone.

wibblywobblytimeywimey said: Not for a moment.


End file.
